Let’s face it, starting and maintaining a new habit can be a daunting task. Life’s uncertainties and ups and downs can make it challenging to stay committed and focused on your needs, preferences, and routines. That’s why I’m here to guide you every step of the way! Today, before you embark on your habit-forming journey, there are four crucial questions you must ask yourself.
Full disclosure: These questions may take some time to answer – perhaps even months or years – but trust me, they are worth the effort. They delve into the core reasons behind your habits, both the good and the bad. Many of us struggle to stick to habits long-term, mistakenly attributing it to a lack of willpower or motivation. However, these questions will reveal that willpower has little to do with it.
By the end of this post, you’ll not only know why I chose these as your guiding questions, but also understand why they are essential for anyone seeking to form new habits.
So, let’s dive right in!
1. Who do you wish to become? (Cue the eye roll, I know!)
I know this question might elicit an eye roll but hold on! There’s a reason it’s at the top of the list. Before you kick-start any habit, this question deserves some serious reflection. It may seem simple, but its implications are profound.
By framing the question in this way, we accomplish two significant things. First, it prompts you to examine why it’s essential for you to create and stick to your new habit. Keeping this reason in mind as you build your habit will serve as a powerful motivator. Second, it shifts your focus from mere short-term goals to a broader, more meaningful target—becoming the person you aspire to be. By tying your new habit to your identity, you not only stay motivated but also experience a positive feedback loop. Every time you engage in your habit, you are actively becoming the person you want to be.
Remember, the goal isn’t just to wake up early every morning; it’s to become an early riser. The goal isn’t to read every book on your shelf; it’s to become a reader. The goal isn’t merely to run a 10K; it’s to become a runner. The goal isn’t just to drive under the speed limit; it’s to become a safer, more cautious driver.
At Newfound Sense, we’re here to make habit-building easier for every person, regardless of the habit’s complexity. Your habits should not only be valuable and worthwhile to you but also play a practical role in your life and contribute to the person you want to become.
2. How can you build a system that works for you?
More than achieving specific goals like “getting things done,” “eating healthier,” or “waking up earlier,” we believe that building habits are integral to becoming the best version of yourself. If you merely set goals and strive to achieve them, you’ll often fall into an all-or-nothing mindset. If you meet your goal, you consider it a success; if you don’t, you label yourself a failure, unworthy of happiness. This approach is a recipe for disaster.
As James Clear brilliantly stated in his book Atomic Habits, “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”
The secret to long-term habit success lies in creating a system where doing the right thing becomes easy every time. To start building your system, ask yourself, “What can I do today that will make choosing the right thing easier for me tomorrow?” Then, take action! Keep asking yourself this question every day until your habit becomes a natural, comfortable choice.
3. How frequently do you engage in this bad habit?
It may sound obvious, but if you’re unaware of when you engage in habitual behaviors, you can’t expect to improve or change them. Therefore, before you embark on forming a new habit, take inventory of your daily habits.
To get started, grab a piece of paper and jot down your daily habits. This exercise will help you to become more aware of them. Pro tip: List your habits in chronological order as you notice them throughout the day.
For example:
Morning routine
Wake up
Hit the “snooze” button
Stay in bed
Check text messages
Refresh inbox to check for new emails
Open social media apps
Get out of bed
Evening routine
Prepare and eat dinner
Do the dishes and clean the kitchen
Go to the gym for 30 minutes
Watch Netflix
Open and browse social media apps
Get into bed
4. Are there such things as bad habits?
Let’s clear the air on judgment. We won’t classify habits as inherently right or wrong. Instead, we’ll categorize them based on their effects. Good habits are those that help us become the person we aspire to be, while bad habits are those that hinder our growth and prevent us from realizing our potential. If a habit neither helps nor hinders you in becoming the best version of yourself, it is neutral.
Take your list of habits and label each one as “good,” “bad,” or “neutral.” Use a “+” to indicate good habits, a “-” for bad habits, and a “=” for neutral habits.
For example:
Wake up =
Hit the snooze button –
Stay in bed –
Check for text messages –
Refresh inbox to check for new emails –
Open social media apps –
Get out of bed +
Don’t overthink or judge yourself during this process. While reviewing each habit, simply ask yourself, “Does this habit help me to become an early riser?” By framing the question this way, the answer becomes obvious, and you can focus on moving forward rather than punishing yourself or dwelling in regret.
So, what did you think?
There you have it—the four pivotal questions everyone needs to ask themselves before embarking on habit-building. Most importantly, knowing who you want to become and aligning your actions with that desired identity is key. You’ll be motivated to choose habits that reinforce your desired identity and more likely to stick to them.
By answering the other three questions, the ultimate goal is to become aware of your habits, both good and bad. This awareness will empower you to work on them and eventually reshape them according to your aspirations.
Now, armed with these questions and newfound insights, you’re ready to conquer the world of habit formation. Good luck on your journey to becoming the best version of yourself, and remember, I’ll be with you every step of the way!
Final Question: What habits have you been wanting to form, and how do you think answering these four questions can help you achieve them?
We would love to hear from you! Share your thoughts in the comments below and let us know which habits you’ve been eager to develop. How do you think answering these four pivotal questions can support you in achieving those habits? Join the conversation and inspire others with your insights and experiences.
